One day I was enjoying my early retirement out in the countryside, taking comfort in the simplicity of my off grid lifestyle. Hunting and gardening provided the bulk of my own food, and I slept and did my work from inside my converted shipping container mini-home. It could get a bit lonely at times—but it gave me the space I needed to get away from the city...and my past. But when a trio of cute goblins emerged from a silver portal that appeared out of nowhere on my property...things got a bit more complicated all of a sudden. Also, I soon discovered they bite and mostly each other, but sometimes me. Still, I made a commitment to care for them. I also discovered that I can travel freely back to their world and slay monsters to gain strength and enhance each of the women I'm now responsible for in unusual ways. It's all pretty exciting—but what is my childhood friend Susie going to say when she finds out about this strange arrangement? Knowing her, probably something weird.