The wizards at Ankh-Morpork's Unseen University are renowned for many things--wisdom, magic, teatime--but athletics, not so much. When Lord Vetinari, the city's benevolent tyrant, strongly suggests to Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully that the university revive its sports program and field a football team composed of faculty, students, and staff--or lose the funding that pays for their nine daily meals--the wizards of UU find themselves in a quandary. First, they have to understand what makes foot-the-ball so popular with Ankh-Morporkians. Then they have to learn how to play it--and win--without using magic. Of course, the thing about football is that it is never just about football.